I'm lost and stupid without you.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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