I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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