It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
