You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
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Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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