On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
