I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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