How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize