New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize