the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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