Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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