i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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