I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
