That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize