Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
