Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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