I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
