If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
