wrigley field is MILF paradise
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
