hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he fucked my hip out of place.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
