I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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