your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
