Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i out mim tonsoeep
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