Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
