Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
