After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
