I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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