dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
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I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
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We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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