That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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