I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
