hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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