i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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