Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
