My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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