Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Randomize