I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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