I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
