North Korea, Best Korea!
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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