You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
