i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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