I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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