Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
