i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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