If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
