I am spending my child support on dildos
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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