just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
