white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
