I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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