It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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