"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize