i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
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Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
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Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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