just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
