four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
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ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
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We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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