Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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