you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
