Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Let's paint friendship bongs
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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