Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
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