Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
