if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
