Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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