i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
