After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
