I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
