You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
