So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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