the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
