i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
