I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
