sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
