You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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